


Distraction

by knockoutmouse



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Misogyny, Dirty Talk, Excessively phonetic accents, Finger Sucking, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, misogynist language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 14:29:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17582618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knockoutmouse/pseuds/knockoutmouse
Summary: Originally written/published on ff.net in 2011. Reposted here with minor edits.The Scandinavians are bored and need a distraction.The distraction is sex.





	Distraction

Skwisgaar stepped out of the bath and wrapped himself in one of the oversized fluffy white towels that were kept in plentiful supply by the Klokateers. He dried himself without much hurry, glanced in the mirror, and realized that his hair was still piled in an untidy bun on top of his head, which wasn't the most flattering style, but had served the purpose of keeping it out of the water. It wouldn't do to let anyone see him like that. It'd only give Toki more reason to tease him about looking like "de ladies."

He let his hair down, tossed his towel to the tile floor, and stepped through the doorway into his bedroom for some fresh clothes. He was surprised to see Toki bouncing on the edge of the mattress, apparently waiting for him.

"What do you wants?" said Skwisgaar, leaning against the doorframe, not seeming concerned in the least that he was entirely nude.

"I was boreds. Pickle am drunk, and Moidaface am readings a book."

"Moidaface readinks a book? Pfft."

"It ams about how to lifts up de womens," insisted Toki.

Skwisgaar considered this for a moment, and decided he didn't want to know. "So what about Nat'ans? Why nots go bother him?"

Toki rolled his eyes. "He ams in a "privates meeting" with de butlers."

" _Private_ meetings, little Toki. _Privates_ amnest somet'ings else."

"Ja, whatevers."

"Ja." Skwisgaar sighed. "I was beings boreds as well, so I took a nice bubblies bath."

"But now it amn'ts bathstime anymore," Toki pointed out.

"What am beings your point, please?" asked Skwisgaar.

Toki grinned. "You am being boreds again?"

" _Nej_ , I have plenties to do. Was going to put on some new clothinks, and den—and den practice de guitars," he sighed, not sounding especially enthusiastic about it.

"I haves a better idea," said the Norwegian slyly, making no attempt to conceal it as his eyes travelled up Skwisgaar's long legs and didn't just stop there. "And you will nots be needings to get dressed for it."

"Oh?" said Skwisgaar, who, aside from his noticeable erection, was feigning perfect indifference. "What amnest that?"

Toki stood. "I will shows you." He kissed the blonde, snaking one arm around his waist and letting his other hand move slowly down Skwisgaar's chest and stomach, stopping just above the still-damp patch of blonde hair.

"You amnest a tease," whispered Skwisgaar, taking hold of Toki's wrist and trying, unsuccessfully, to move it lower.

"Ja, you likes it." Toki moved behind him and kissed his shoulder, now running his hands down the other man's sides, keeping his touch light over the protruding ribs.

Skwisgaar squirmed in his grasp. "Dat tickles."

The Norwegian smiled, glad that Skwisgaar couldn't see his face, and guided him toward the bed. Skwisgaar turned and caught Toki's mouth in another kiss, deeper, more demanding than the last.

"I wants you, nows."

"You will haves to be patients," Toki admonished, placing his hands on Skwisgaar's shoulders and pushing him gently down to sit on the edge of the bed. Then he sank to his knees before the blonde and began to kiss up the inside of his thigh.

Skwisgaar made a small sound of appreciation and reached out toward Toki, letting one hand rest lightly atop his head. Toki paused, looked up, and turned his face toward Skwisgaar's hand, softly kissing the underside of his wrist, then licking up the length of his palm before taking two fingers into his mouth and sucking.

This produced the effect that Toki had hoped for: Skwisgaar closed his eyes, moaned, and cursed in Swedish. After a moment, Toki slid the Swede's fingers out of his mouth and moved back toward his lap, taking in just the tip of his cock. Skwisgaar tried to thrust in further, but Toki moved away.

"If you ams going to do's dat, den I does nothings for you," he threatened. "You needs to relax, or no nosebleeds, _ja_?"

"Stupids dildos, it amnest calleds—ah!" He lost his train of thought as Toki suddenly deepthroated him. " _Ja_ —dis is betters. _Ja_." He leaned back, giving Toki more space. "You ams—mmhhh— _ja_ —ams goods at dis, little Toki."

Toki made no response except to continue to move up and down his shaft, swirling his tongue over the head every time he came up. When Skwisgaar started to thrust up into his mouth, he pulled away.

Skwisgaar started to protest, but Toki precluded this by stroking his cock slowly while moving down to lick gently, almost hesitantly, at his balls.

"You—amnest—haven'ts—been doings dis before," gasped Skwisgaar, sitting up in surprise.

" _Ja_ , I was thinking you mights like," said Toki, and went back to the task at hand, taking care not to apply too much pressure.

"Gods, you ams such a sluts," said Skwisgaar, but with affection.

"Oh, you thinks so?" said Toki. "Den turns over."

"You—ah—you are wantings to fuck me?"

"Turns over."

Skwisgaar complied. Toki undressed and took a bottle of lube from the nightstand, but set it on the bed next to Skwisgaar.

"Amn'ts you goings to—"

"Shh," Toki silenced him, and knelt again, running a hand over Skwisgaar's ass, parting his cheeks slightly. He leaned forward and ran his tongue tentatively over the blonde's entrance, eliciting a strangled cry.

" _Oh my God, what are you doing?_ " he asked, slipping back into Swedish.

" _Don't you want me to?_ "

" _Ah...no, I didn't say that._ "

So Toki did it again. "Wells?"

Skwisgaar took a shaky breath. "Gods, Toki, why amnest you never doings dis before?"

"I did not thinks you woulds like," said Toki, and resumed the activity. Skwisgaar didn't protest, just moaned and squirmed under the Norwegian's grip. Toki continued to lap at Skwisgaar's opening as he reached over to pick up the lube and coated his fingers.

"Toki, please, fucks me," whimpered the blonde. "Ah— _yes, yes, like that_ ," he said as Toki's fingers slid into him.

Skwisgaar thrust back against his hand, searching for the right angle. " _Deeper, please! Fuck me already!_ "

" _Hang on, all right?_ "

Toki slicked his cock with lube, astonished that Skwisgaar was ready so soon. He held back for a minute, making sure the blonde was sufficiently stretched, and then slipped his fingers out, replacing them with his cock.

"Mmm, _ja_ , verys nice," Toki whispered, holding onto Skwisgaar's bony hips as he thrust slowly but deeply into him.

"Mmmhh, _ja_ ," agreed Skwisgaar, biting his hand to keep from crying out as Toki pulled back and then sank into him again.

"None of dats," said Toki. He seized Skwisgaar's wrist and pinned it against his back. "I wants to hears you screamings for me like a sluts."

And scream he did, as Toki fucked him, fast and hard, slamming into him, and eventually pulling him away from the bed just enough to wrap a hand around his dick and stroke him roughly until he came. Toki thrust for a minute or two longer until he also finished. He eased out of Skwisgaar and lay down next to him.

"Well?" he asked, running a hand lazily over Skwisgaar's back. "Was goods fors you?"

" _Ja_ ," murmured Skwisgaar. "Ah—that is, it was nots being too unsatisfact-skories."

Toki considered. "What ams we goings to dos now?"

Skwisgaar sighed and rolled over onto his back. "I don't know, little Tokis. I amnest boreds again now."


End file.
